.003 God is NOW!

. . . put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
- Ephesians 6:13-18 –

I once heard a non-believer say that he couldn’t accept Christ because he might become famous. My college pastor had just shared the Gospel with him, told him all about the amazing cross and how freedom and salvation could only be found in Christ, and he said, “Well, I’ll have to think about it. I might become famous soon, and that’s going to be huge.” I was flabbergasted. As though following God was going to thwart his musical career–He could only make it more fruitful; as though being saved by the grace of the Lord was going to keep anything exciting from happening to him–life with God is beyond exciting; as though being famous would be anything compared to knowing true forgiveness for a life of sin. Obviously, it was one of the silliest excuses I’ve ever heard, while simultaneously a polite way of saying, “I’m hearing you, but no thanks.”

A young gal from the high school ministry I work with told me that she needs to be able to accept herself before she can accept God. I told her that the only way she would find the strength to accept herself was with the strength of God, and that God doesn’t need her to accept herself. He has already accepted her, just as she is. All the sins and flaws, along with the beautiful young lady she is, God knows and has loved her as is.

With that, this walk sometimes feels overwhelmed with ‘becoming.’ It is hard to not get caught up in your own flaws, the places that God is working in your life. It is hard to see other people’s gifts and wish that you were more like them. The important thing to remember, as stated previously, is that God knows every part of you, every beat of your heart, and knows every thought before you think it. “You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same; You are amazing God!” as the lyrics of Chris Tomlin’s “Indescribable” say. The point is that if God can love even the sometimes twisted depths of our hearts, we can take comfort in knowing that He does not see failure in our flaws, only places for His glory to be shown (shone).

(There is no ‘becoming,’ there is only now when sin is involved. Slight tangent: I was listening to Mornings with Brant on Way FM about a couple weeks ago, and Brant was talking about how we can make all these boundaries and plans and goals and pledges to not sin, to not fall into temptation, but when the situation comes along, there is this psychological phenomenon that kicks in and we’re basically powerless. I think we can safely replace “psychological phenomenon” with the name of a certain enemy and say it makes perfect sense. I believe it was Billy Graham that had a naked woman hiding in his car when he came out from a speaking engagement, took one look at her and screamed, “FLEE!” and ran off down the street. In response to a question about temptation, he wisely wrote, “The best way to avoid giving in to temptation is to flee from it the moment it appears.” )

It’s not so much that you aren’t the person God wants you to be right now–in fact, you probably are. It’s not that you’re not “there yet,” where ever “there” is. The fact of the matter is that you are here, in this place and time, around these people for a reason. It’s because this is the moment God has placed you to live in, and while I believe wholeheartedly God gives us free will He just happens to know what choice we’re going to make, and so He’s pulled His all-knowing strings to formulate your life to best fit His will. It’s more that you are God’s woman now and becoming more like Christ every moment after ‘now’. (When will THEN become NOW? … Soon!) It’s more that you are God’s woman and becoming more like Christ every day. Maybe some days are huge leaps ahead, and some are even regressive… Some days it feels like I am so unlike You; where you are gracious, I am unforgiving and cold; where You are selfless and humble, all I can see is myself; where you are hopeful, I feel lethargic and despondent; where you are eterntally patient, I am quick-tempered and irritable. You move with a holy grace, and I trip over my own feet thrice a day.

Becoming is daily; becoming is now. It is also often referred to as “walking with Christ.” Walking is daily. Walking is now. It takes clinging to Jesus’ hand for balance, listening to His words for inspiration, and giving up ourselves to make room for a strength that is all God’s own. It means slowing down, breathing, and realizing in your very being that you were only able to take that breath because God provides, graciously and generously.

How do we walk the line of daily and divine? It is common for Christians of a younger generation to say, “Jesus is my best friend,” or “Jesus is my boyfriend,” when I know many ‘older’ men and women of God that balk at drum-sets in worship and who would balk at such a statement. There are debates going as to whether the Bible should be read in the bathroom, if you should pray while in the shower. It seems to be a question of respect towards God. Is it respect or is it hiding? Is it respect or is it being real? God knows every inch of our bodies, every atom, every quark and beyond. He knows how our bodies work because He thought it up that way. We are also only clean by his grace and forgiveness, so in His presence we are holy. If we are in alignment with His will–and why wouldn’t reading the Bible or praying be out of line?–what we are doing is good. I think it comes down to love. It is written that all things are permissible, but if it causes a brother to stumble, it is not permissible. We have to be real with God, because who exactly do you think you’re hiding from if you’re not? He knows our hearts and knows what we are thinking, going to speak before it comes out of our mouths. If you’re praying while doing bathroom business though, let me jus tsay I don’t need to know about it. That’s between you and God, my friend.

The point is, as wisely stated by one Becky Zerlentes, “Life is now.” When you find yourself saying, “I’ll pray tomorrow morning; I’ll pray after work…” Pray now! “I’ll worship God later; I’ll spend time with Him later,” do it now! There is no better way to strengthen your walk with Christ than to be with Him, always. “Pray continually,” says Paul in 1 Thessalonians. “Rejoice always,” he says. “I will say it again: rejoice!”

A guest lecturer here at Ravencrest, Jason Morrison, is an active duty Marine. We were discussing in class what it meant to be constantly following Jesus and doing all things for the glory of God. He said something along the lines of, “If I’m out patrolling on top of a tank, I can’t be thinking about Jesus. I have to be thinking about how I’m going to get rid of the bad guys out to kill me. Does this mean I’m not following Jesus? Heck no!” He then went on to say, “Dirt biking is my favorite thing in the world. But if I’m not thinking about God when I’m dirt biking, does that mean I’m not doing it for His glory? No.” What Jason means is that just because God isn’t at the forefront of our minds (we can, after all, only have so many things in our active conscious mind), doesn’t mean we aren’t walking with Him daily. It means that we just have to remember God created this moment, this life, these things that we like to do specifically for our enjoyment. He created Creation not only as a place to put us, but so that we could see its beauty and in turn, see His beauty. He created dirt biking for Jason and the written Word for me and your favorite hobby or favorite place specifically for us to enjoy it! It says in the Psalms that God wills us to see the things we see. Samantha Dalton once saw a shooting star that no one else in the group she was with saw–she knew that God flicked that little speck of light across the atmosphere just for her.

So what can we take from this? God is NOW. And He loves you in this moment, no matter where your heart is or where it’s been, and He only wants to love you more. So it’s my prayer for you that you’ll let Him do what He does best: Love.

Ravencrest Chalet

A bit of news about the biggest change of my life: Bible school!

I wake up at around 7:00 every morning to the sounds of showers and hair-dryers. It is nice to not have an alarm clock, but rather the actually pleasant noises of five other girls. I haul myself from my top bunk, attempt not to trip over Chelsea’s cactus, which looms ominously near my bedside table/dresser/plastic cabinet from Hobby Lobby, and get dressed for my morning devotion. There is nothing like stepping out into mountain air to sit with God and His Word for a half hour before breakfast. The mountains are green and silent, rolling evidence of God’s love for His world. Even moreso, as Drew the Director of Student Life reminded us this morning, God loves me more than those majestic mountains. He loves me more than the lake and the entire Rocky Mountains. I can see the entire Estes Park valley, lake and mountainscape from the top floor of the Chalet and God loves me more than all that He created. Wow.

Breakfast is at 8:00 every morning, after which the students either get ready for class or do their daily duties. I’m on dinner crew; chief dishwasher, baby! Then we head down the hill to the student center and classroom, a two story building called Alpenhaus. There we have some sort of morning devotion on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, whether it is worship, prayer, or listening to our classmates share their testimonies. God has chosen to guide me away from the mainstage worship team for now–though I’ll still be happy to put on some impromptu worship for the girls in the Cottage (our dorm building). On Wednesday we have Family Groups, where we discuss “The Faith,” a book written to ensure Christians understand the basics of the faith they claim to follow. On Friday we meet with our Prayer and Share group, which is basically small group. (And reminds me how much I miss the Net’s girl’s small group.) Then comes three hours of lecture with ten minute breaks between. So far we are surveying the Old Testament, studying the book of Exodus, and Pneumatology (the study of the person and ministry of the Holy Spirit). Time for lunch, then free time for the afternoon depending on the day, dinner, and more lecture until 9.

The days are long, but each one brings a deepening respect and knowledge of the Lord. We studied the first chapter of Genesis the first night of lecture, and there’s so much to learn! I am very excited to be here. I’m glad to be meeting new people and forging new relationships. We have to memorize the names of the Bible in order – that’s my next task!

The next intellectual blog post is on the way, entitled “God is NOW!” I hope to start writing something smart-sounding and godly after I’ve soaked in a little bit of all the information I’ve been learning. It’s been a whirlwind. I feel like I’ve been gone a month and it’s hardly been six days. Things are starting to get normal though.

Sirrah!

Housekeeping

Thanks to everyone who’s been dragging their Foxes over to Love Overflow. I very much appreciate all of you: 45 views in the month of August. Rockin’! If you find something you like, please feel free to Digg my articles or share them on Facebook with all your friends, especially those who may need an encouraging word or someone with whom to relate.

Next, you can see at the top of my site, just under the title, there are some links to some of my other pages within Love Overflow. The most important (shameless publicity plug!) one I’d like to direct your attention to is ART. I’ll be sharing a bucket of my artwork at the First Baptist Church Art Show ’09, which everyone should definitely stop by and support these local artists! The show is quite the work of … well, you know. I am pleased to report that 25% of the profits will be donated to Habitat for Humanity. The real party is Friday, September 25th from 6 to 9pm, where there will be live music and hors d’oeuvres, a silent auction, and vote for “Best in Show.” The show continues Saturday from 9am to 2pm.

My work is mainly based on the Word of God, but what I am most excited about is bringing BevMarks to Colorado. BevMarks is a ministry founded by Beverly Armstrong out of Ojai, California. With her distinctive art, Beverly spreads the love of Christ through her unique bookmarks. I have been given the awesome opportunity to carry on the ministry here. I will be giving out bookmarks at the art show–just another incentive to stop by! (Because the show is partly for charity, I’ll be asking a quarter for every bookmark after the first one, but normally they’re not ‘for sale,’ as it were.) I plan to continue on the ministry even after the art show, so if you have any need that could be filled by these bookmarks, don’t hesitate to ask. Beverly has been working with Joni and Friends and providing BevMarks for their family retreats. The bookmarks also get sent overseas to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and have traveled to other corners of the globe. Please see my Art page for more.

So once again, thanks to everyone who’s been following the development of LO. I hope that this will someday become a good resource for encouragement, for some new things to ponder as I record my journeys at Bible school, and maybe a few good laughs with our Awesome God!

Love!

.002 Learning to Believe

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
This is what the ancients were commended for.
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command,
so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

- Hebrews 11:1-3 -

(Tangent 1: Out of sheer curiosity, I am attempting to write without ending a sentence with a preposition.)

Leaps of faith and spiritual tests travel hand in hand. There’s a point where you just have to stop trying, fall back into God’s capable hands and say, “Okay, Lord; I give. You take it from here, ’cause I just can’t do it.” This summer has been one of the rougher summers of my life–full of leaps and tests.

Seriously living like Christ died to save me has been the lesson of the summer. It’s been a hard one to learn. The problem is my head knows it, but my heart is on the slow side of a January molasses’ learning curve. I’m not allowed to live in this fairy tale land anymore, where in some vague past, a man died an excruciating death according to an invisible God’s will in order to save the human race from an impending, torturous eternity. (Tangent 2 comes from Lee Strobel’s Case for Easter: The Romans had to invent a new word to describe the unbearable pain of being crucified; therefore, excruciating came into the vocabulary.) Maybe it’s because I’m a new believer, not yet two years old, and there’s still parts of me that haven’t quite got it yet. Maybe it’s the society in which we live, where the Bible is planted as a great work of fiction between The Lovely Bones and The Da Vinci Code. Having grown up in said society, perhaps the Bible still has that mystery and intangibility to it that I haven’t been able to quite grasp. Eternal life is a common fictional archetype, used so repeatedly that the Truth it is based on is now tarnished by fairy tales. God Himself is of course invisible to the human eye, but the wake of His creation is available to everyone. Perhaps God will use my time at Ravencrest to remedy this uncertainty. There’s a multitude of unknowns in the Christian faith, which is why it is called ‘faith.’

Faith. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. Faith is moving without knowing. I think that doubt is from Satan and God’s gift of faith does not include doubt. It is our sinful nature that leads us to doubt. As my wise doctor said, “We all have big, bright targets smack in the middle of our foreheads. Satan is going to use those targets for anything he can.”

I’m all about application of the Christian life. I want to live God’s word and God’s will, so I’m always looking for ways to physically, mentally, and heartfully live the Word. (Tangent 3: I love making up words, especially if they totally make sense. One of these things just doesn’t belong here!) How do I apply faith to my life? Through the wonderful vessel God has provided me: prayer. I need to pray through the things that I am trying to keep out of God’s hands, even subconsciously. For instance, who knew I was so stressed about being in loud, group settings? God–and unfortunately I was unknowingly keeping it from Him.  If I prayerfully come to the conclusion that my next very breath can only come from the depths of God’s grace, I can come to the conclusion that He can pretty much take care of my life. One of my favorite long quotes, which I’ve changed a bit because the author is unknown so ha!, goes a little something like this:
Good morning! This is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a good day! If the devil happens to deliver a situation that you cannot handle, please do not try to resolve it. Kindly put it in the Something For Jesus To Do (SFJTD) box. It will be addressed in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it or try to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem. If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is the proper resolution.
If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.
I love you!
– God
P.S. Please pass this on to all my other kids.

This is the lesson I’ve been learning. God doesn’t need my help, and I just have to let everything go up to Him. It’s often hard to imagine and believe how much He loves you and me.

Love is quite possibly the most difficult, chest-aching, chaotic bliss that I shall ever know. It has its positives and negatives, as do all aspects of this bizarre, blessed gift we call life. It is next to impossible to let go of love. Because of the incomprehensible love that God has for me–this broken mess of a girl struggling to become a woman after His own heart–God will never let go of me, even if I try to let go of Him. (Granted, this would be a very stupid thing to do, but it could happen for a very stupid reason in a future I don’t care to imagine.) This aspect of God’s love is wonderful and beyond amazing. It’s like involuntary Velcro for people with commitment issues (would you like to sign a waiver?). No matter how unfaithful I am to Him, He will always be faithful to me.

My mind is officially boggled, but has come to a peaceful stopping point.

FAITH. It’s what’s for life. Stick that in your juice box and suck on it.

Preposition! Drat.

Here’s to learning new lessons!

.001 Many waters cannot quench love

. . . Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned . . . 
– Song of Solomon 8:7 –

The beauty of the Scripture is indescribable, how appropriate that God who wrote it will similarly not be boxed in with a small girl’s words. I might strive to find some sort of relatable phrase, or book of phrases, to describe Him. My own words will never do.
“I am.”
That is all that matters. He is. He is the Alpha, the Omega, Beginning and End–the paper on which the line of time is drawn. He is and He will not be destroyed or conquered, reprimanded or dethroned. Knowing that my words can never be enough to describe God who simply is is… intimidating. Knowing also that I’ve been called to try is more so. It is similar to knowing I can do nothing by my own strength because I have no strength of my own, knowing that my spirit is His Spirit and I can only worship because He allows me, wills me to, that my faith in Him is a gift from Him. It’s a circle. Maybe that’s why God not only is the Beginning and End–that is the Creator–but also has no beginning and end, like a circle. I digress. I believe that while I cannot write about God by my own creativity, He will provide me with the words to write as He wills them to be written. It’s a pleasant circle of trust and love.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a weblog, one that I’ve sincerely felt I have something to fill it with. I think now is the right time to start it up again. There’s a few reasons.

1. I’m about to jump off a cliff. (Yep, right now, with my laptop.) I’m dropping everything that I know (pretty much) to go study the Word for nine months in Estes Park. I’ll write more about the reason I’m going later, but the point is I’m going to have a huge change in my life and hopefully it’ll inspire some good writing. So, I need a place to record. Even more so, I would love for my friends and family to read about what I’m doing at school. 
2. As I implied above, I feel that God has called me to be a writer. Many writers and literary agents and folks in the trade have a blog, so at the very least, this will be a place to direct anyone looking for an example of my writing.
3. It’s like buying a new notebook. Once I’ve taken the dive and splurged my dollar fifty for a shiny purple 1-subject, I feel obligated to put stuff in it. If I have a blog, I’ll write in it.

So there you have it. In the months to come, I hope to fill this blog with all sorts of interestings–things about my studies, what God is teaching me, the paths He’s leading me down, random funny things that amuse me, and other such things. I think I can link this to my Facebook, so hopefully all my wonderful friends will be able to see when I write here.

Here’s to new journeys!